Oct 7, 2017
Rona, 24, Office Personnel
Sta. Ana, Manila, Philippines

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Hi Sir Alex,

This is my story. I already prepared this last weekend but haven’t send it yet due to no internet connection.
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Choosing between what’s right and what you need to do is really hard. It has always been clear to me that if ever this happens and I am not ready, my decision is to not continue the pregnancy. But I never thought that I would really come in this point in my life.

It really happened unexpectedly.

August 6, 2017 – I had my sexual intercourse. I am confident that I am safe because I am already expecting my period within that week.

August 9, 2017 – Expected date of period but it didn’t happen. So I took the Plan B pills (I took Trust Pills since Nordets is already phased out and I have read that Trust could be an alternative and can use up to 5 days after sex)

Since I took pills, I thought that maybe this affected the cycle of my period so I didn’t bother since this also happened to me before.

August 28, 2017 – had an intercourse again and took pills as well just to be safe. That’s what I thought.

September 4, 2017 – still no period came. My boyfriend and I already decided to have a pregnancy test already. 1 line clear, 1 line fainted. 2 lines means positive. I tried 1 again in the morning of Sept. 5, same result 1 line clear, 1 line fainted. Maybe I am still in denial I tried again 1 in the afternoon using another brand of PT. Again, same result.

My boyfriend and I talked and we decided to not continue the pregnancy. We are also scared that the baby might not be normal anymore due to the pills that I took.

September 5, 2017 – I searched for possible safe way in inducing miscarriage. I found a blog of a lady that also tried to do it on her own. I overdosed with Vitamin C and a Herbal Medicine. I even tried drinking Parsley Tea. But it was not successful. I got frustrated already because the procedure is really hard and it is not working!

The same lady gave me the contact of the Project 486. She said that if everything didn’t work, I should contact them and they can help me.

September 11, 2017 – I emailed Project 486. Read their reply by Sept. 13 and I provided the details that they are asking.

Initially we wanted to do the procedure immediately but we needed to get funds for the medicine and the procedure. My boyfriend and I also decided to have an ultrasound first to make sure that I am really pregnant (even we know already) and I am having normal pregnancy (to avoid complications in the procedure that we will be doing).

September 22, 2017 – I started the initial procedure and received the parcel as well.

Below is the time table that we came up.

Timetable proposal:
Sep 22, 2017 (Fri)
11am-6pm low folate diet
6pm-12am fasting(no food, no drinks)
Sept 23, 2017 (Sat)
12am- swallow mifepristone
12am-6am- fasting
6am-6pm-low folate diet
6pm-12am- fasting
Sept 24, 2017 Sunday
12am- vaginal misoprostol, 2tabs
4am- buccal misoprostol 2 tabs
8am- buccal misoprostol, 2 tabs
10am- can eat and drink low folate-stay indoors throughout the day

Fasting for me was hard since I am a go eater. I love eating. But I needed to do it for the procedure to be successful.

September 23, 2017 – we checked in at a hotel since we can’t do it in our houses.

September 24, 2017, 12am – we did the vaginal miso. My boyfriend is the one who inserted the miso since I have to stay lying.

Not long enough I already felt something in my tummy. I am feeling pain and it’s getting stronger as time passed. I got to sleep a little bit but will be waking up again due to the pain. It was the most painful feeling that I have ever feel. It feels like 10x stronger than my dysmenorrhea. I am literally crying. My boyfriend is always asking if I can still take it and if I needed to be rush to the hospital already. I said NO, because I don’t want to.

September 24, 4am – I felt something came out. I woke my boyfriend up and asked him to check it since I can’t move. Then there, I know that it’s our baby. But the pain is still there. I still took the Bucal Miso since it was advised to us that mandatory is to take 4 miso. But my time table already changed. By 5:30am, I was allowed to drink water and eat normal already.

September 24, 2017, 7am – something came out again. It was 2 big clots. I think one of those is the sac.

September 24, 2017, 8am – Officially it was announced that I am NOT Pregnant anymore.

The whole procedure was really hard and really exhausting. It’s good that my boyfriend is there throughout the procedure. He was not able to sleep properly because he is very concerned on what is happening to me.

I thought that it will just be easy for me since this is really what we wanted. But after the procedure, I broke down. I cried a lot. Same as my boyfriend. After all, it is still our baby. I saw how my boyfriend is trying to compose his self and not to show me how sad he was. But I know he still is.

We brought all the things that came out and burried it in our church. We are visiting him anytime we can.

I still got emotional up to this day and still healing. It’s one week already and I am still bleeding. It was hard also for me not to do things that are not allowed since I am working. My boyfriend is really a big help.

It was sad and there’s the guilt feeling that I have to take the life of my own baby, but we believe that he will understand our decision and he’ll know that it is for him as well (our situation right now is really not good). We also believe and pray that when the right time comes, he will come back to us. And by that time, he will have a good life. We will give everything to him that we can’t right now.

To Sir Alex and Sir John, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE HELP. I didn’t know that we can get through this situation and someone can really help us with this.

As a Catholic, I know that this is a big sin and we should be penalized for this. But as a normal citizen of this country, it’s our choice if we want our future child to experience the same hardship that we are experiencing. I am not justifying what we did. I am stating the fact and the reality that we are facing.

To my Baby Jesiah, we love you and we will still see you.