Almost two weeks na akong delayed, and my boyfriend and I were starting to get really nervous. We decided na mag-take ako ng PT…and guess what? It’s positive. I’m pregnant.
After that, sobrang daming what ifs ang pumasok sa isip namin. We’re too young to take on such a big responsibility, and kahit kailan, ayaw naming dumating sa point na mabubuhay ang baby namin nang hindi namin siya kayang bigyan ng maayos na buhay. Nag-search ang boyfriend ko ng mga options. Pero bago kami mapunta sa desisyong ‘yun, tinanong niya muna ako, gusto ko bang ikeep o hindi?. At first, I really wanted to keep the baby. Gustong-gusto ko. But looking at our current situation, we just can’t. We’re not ready, and it breaks my heart that I can’t keep my baby… our baby.
Then, my boyfriend found Project 486. We reached out and spoke to Dr. JJ, who guided us every step of the way. He explained what we needed to do and what to expect. During the process, sobrang kaba ang naramdaman ko. Kinakabahan ako sa lahat ng pwedeng mangyari. Since it was a 3-day process, okay pa naman ako sa Day 1 and Day 2. Pero pagdating ng Day 3… it became a roller coaster for us.
But in the end, it was worth it, everything was worth it.When Dr. JJ confirmed that I was officially not pregnant, the relief was real. Sobrang gaan sa pakiramdam, knowing that the process was successful and my journey ended safely.
You really can trust Project 486.
Pero kahit naramdaman ko ang ginhawa at saya, andun pa rin ‘yung guilt. Sobrang konsensya. Araw-araw, dadalawin ako ng alaala ng pangyayaring ‘to. This is a huge lesson for me and my boyfriend. And to our little angel… I’m so sorry. Sorry we couldn’t keep you. We’re sorry… really, really sorry. Sana dumating ‘yung araw na maibigay ka ulit sa amin…sa tamang panahon, sa panahong wala na kaming pagsisisihan, at kaya ka na naming mahalin nang buong-buo at maayos. We love you, baby. Mommy loves you so much.