Abortion in Cebu
Vengeance is not good
I DON’T WANT TO BUT I HAVE TO (VENGEANCE IS NOT GOOD) Hello, I want to share my story to ease what I have been feeling for the past 2 months since I undergo the procedure. The guilt, sadness, madness and being depressed for what I did so wrong, my first ever hardest decision in my life. I have a live in partner, my first boyfriend. We’ve been together for 3 years already. I’ve cheated a year after he cheated on me. As an overthinker and unhealed one, I did the same. I don’t know why I did it as I knew myself, I’m not that kind of woman. I definitely disagree in this kind of set-up if I were to say. I’ve met a boy in my age who’s entirely different than him, I’m not in love but I do like him as what I sought to see the difference between them. We have met two times. Unknowingly, something was created. I even told myself for our second meet up to stop as I already took revenge, I’m good.
I thought it is legal
A month passed, I wonder why I haven’t got my period. That was the time I felt nervous and fear of what might something happened already inside and I am not mistaken. I took my PT and I saw two red lines. I’ve searched online and found this site. I felt a little relief and sad too for my decision. I also fear what if I might fail, what if it’s not legit. So I read the peoples articles about their experiences. So, I went on and ordered. Fast-forward, I consult to OB and it’s already 2 months because I didn’t go sooner as I have an important meeting in Manila. I thought it’s normal to ask OB a prescription or asking for medications of getting rid of it because I shared her my situation. Then she said it’s definitely unlawful and immoral. So, I switched my OB after I undergone the procedure.
Not the right time
The procedure was not easy, until now I can’t believe I did it. Maybe because of my current situation, a lot of things are at stake. I also planned to take my board exam this year. Carrying a baby in a womb is not a joke, I think I’m not myself during that particular time. A lot of people close to me are concerned for me. While me, being the mother is being careless and thinks negatively, sad and anxious at the same time. If that baby lives, I think he/she will become unhealthy as I know it’s unwanted.
The guy wants it
The guy I met is so sad and mad at me for my decision. He wants the child to live, yes he’s kind, caring, lovable but at the back of my mind I pity myself and the baby as he has a girlfriend too. He also hasn’t decided yet when to break with her for good but promised me that sooner we will be together. I asked myself when and I don’t want a broken family that’s why I am determined to get rid of it. We talked with the guy the last time for closure and by wanting the questions I want him to answer. He surely did it intentionally why we made one. He likes me and I can’t blame him also as I also made time and didn’t avoid in the first place.
Every night at that time, I’m always crying, regretting and mad at everything. I even blame Him and I’m very sorry and felt bad about myself. Why such things happened to me though it’s me who’s to blame.
During procedure, first and second day was tolerable, feels like nothing happened it’s just that you feel a little bit dizzy and have a headache. The 3rd day the most crucial, you have to experience a longer hour of fasting without food and water. Just follow Sir John’s instruction to make it successful.
Still healing
Bottom line is I just plunged myself more into misery. I just made my mind to overthink more. My confidence spiraled down. No one knows except for the two people who are close to me and I trust the most. I don’t want to but I have to. I know I’m being selfish. I just hope that the baby understood and his father too. I do want a child but not in this kind of situation. For all women who’s reading this. I do hope to think a million times what would be the consequences if you do such thing so you won’t regret it. I hope He understands me. This is just for strong and determined people, if you’re weak then this procedure is not for you. Even now, when I remember my situation at that time, my tears will start to pour. I am not yet healed. I’m one of the weak ones. Sometimes we have to experience something to open our mind. Those who don’t experienced it couldn’t really relate to what women like me had gone through.
PS. I would like to extend my deepest gratitude to Sir John and his team for guiding me even in the post-procedures for healing. He didn’t leave me and always open for any concerns. Hope that more women will get help from you specially for the first-timers.
Sincerely, Shane