more abortion stories from Cebu

Nothing will ever really prepare you for a situation like this – even if you’ve been here before.

The crippling fear, anxiety, worry, and guilt came in waves for me as I looked at my positive pregnancy test. Over the years, I’ve made it a mission to learn about my body, especially my cycle, as objectively and as detailed as possible. Even when using protection for the deed, I always made sure to observe my calendar and take precautions with timing. So when that faint line showed up during a PT before my period was due, I knew I made a mistake. Again.

The difference this time was I knew of Project486 – and, although I had hoped I didn’t have to need their help again for this procedure, knowing they exist helped me stay logical. I knew what I had to do and reached out.

 

I’m the breadwinner of my family. My parents are old and constantly need hospital treatments throughout the year. Each year, the medical expenses just get bigger and what little my family had was been wiped out long ago by a prior medical event. Right now, I am the most financially able to keep my family afloat. Even then, money still gets really tight when utility bills, medical bills, and everyday expenses happen all at once.

I know I still cannot afford to have a child. If I did, I know I won’t be able to support my parents the way I do now, and supporting them and easing their worries financially is my top priority. I also know that bearing a child, in my case and with my medical history, comes with far more risk than terminating a pregnancy.

So the decision was set. It doesn’t make it any easier at all and I know it’s still going to take time to heal emotionally again. Lisod jud if muabot ani na point. Bisag wala man gani ni, lisod na. How much more to be in this situation. Life is hard and we need to make hard decisions.

Thankfully, Sir Alex and Doc JJ were quick to respond. Doc JJ made sure I was re-oriented with the science behind the meds and the procedure which I really, really appreciated. It showed me that they cared enough to make sure I knew what I was getting into. They answered even my tiniest queries on what was ok to do and not ok to do, and still offered me the same patience as before. Doc JJ also very kindly discussed some interesting points about medical abortion.

The package arrived just in time for my scheduled days and I was guided through the 3-day procedure. For day 1 & 2, I drank the mife and felt normal.

 

On day 3, I made sure my mind was calm but aware of what I needed to do and proceeded to follow instructions exactly as given. There was a lot of cramping and it was a challenge to stay in one position for an entire day, but we do what needs to be done. By the end of day 3, the POC was confirmed by Doc JJ and I was given the “clearance”.

I’m grateful that the process was smooth and safe. The information that Project486 shared with me also really made all the difference in how I approached doing this procedure.

Getting an abortion is never an easy choice, even when it’s the only reasonable choice for you. You can make the choice that you feel is best for you and still feel absolute grief about it. Both are valid.

Thank you Project486 for helping women like me.