March 22, 2017
Regina, 29
Sta. Cruz, Laguna, Philippines

When i was in college, im aware of a fact that the “common decision” of my fellow student is to undergo this kind of procedure if everything went wrong, i dont condemn their decisions at all though, i have unanswer question in mind- why there’s a need to “DO IT” instead of keeping the baby alive despite of its
consequences?

Now, im 29, happily married with 2kids, but suffering from severe and lifetime ailment which is needed a monitoring and a continous blood transfusion, got my answers with full understanding in the hardest way i could imagine.

I was given an advice by my doctor that i can still have baby..BUT the RISKS accompany by it can be both dangerous for me and my baby’s life-we both have a very little chance to survive.From that moment..we(my husband) tried our very best to be very careful since OBGYNE dont accept us to have family planning operation(un lang ang safe) because of our age(too young).

Then it happpen, we dont know what to do,we are scared..im depressed , stressed and my ailment starting to flare up again, i became desperate.
I used the power of internet out of deperation, then ms. Meanne sampaguita anwers my email and refer me to contact this group that extend professional help to those genuinely need help on this kind of problem..i did contact project 486 and follow every single instructions they send for security purposes..
The momemt i talked to my consultant, sir John(the stress-free).. i know, my guts tells me i can trust these people.. I dont hesitate to pay immediately..and when i received the parcel.. I started to follow my special timetable STRICTLY in preparation for the procedure.(the success or failure of the procedure depends on how you obey and comply such schedule).

Im very afraid, what will happen to my 2kids if i die?at their age, they aren’t ready w/out a guide of a mom, this idea became my source of strength and determination to do it..why? Because our decision is crucial: sacrificing 1 life and saving 3 lives, we need to do it asap because my baby-Xy Alex is on his 8weeks..the more we prolong it the more complications in my health.

I lost my baby Xy recently @ 4:30pm., i felt the guilt, i cried and wept, im angry @myself..mix anxiety runs through me as i stared at him ..as my husband cleaned him up for a documentation..he also cried..we burried him and left the bracelet that serves as a reminder to us on the mistake we committed to him..

I am thankful (NOT because i kill my own flesh and blood by my choice)but because im safe despite of the fact that im not in a good health condition and undergoing on these procedure means RISKING my life between life or death.I am not going to forget these memories and lessons through out my whole life and i will keep this until i die..

I am greatful to the team where mr. John belong, my guts never failed me..these people are trustworthy, they didnt judge me because of my choice, instead they help me to decide, for sir john the stress-free, he patiently answer my questions even the answer is TOO obvious, he extend his genuine concern when i addressed it to him,,he makes an informative and helpful instructions even in midnight everytime i txt/call him, he makes the monitoring time to time from day 1 to day 3 accompanied with an advice inorder for me to be comfortable, he extend professionally his support especially on crucial time..for that matter, I sincerely extend my heartfelt appreciation.

As of now, I GOT the answers to my question when i was in college, with full and deep understanding. I can now defend those women who is being scrutinized by making choices and actions that has connections with abortion, but it DOESN’T MEAN that i encourage women that we should do it for the sake of “to be OUT-OF-SHAME” but because of prioritizing LIFE and DEATH situations..

I shared my story, to share both facts and knowledge, express my feelings that help me to cope, to stand up again and move on, and apply the lesson i’ve gained brought by this experience. I hope as you read this, you also learned something from it..Thank you very much.

Regina, 29
Sta. Cruz, Laguna

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A Patient’s Reflection on her Medical Abortion (pills used: Mifepristone and Misoprostol / Cytotec) in the Philippines (entry# 8)