Abortion in the City of San Juan Metro Manila

Greetings Sir Alex and Team,

I hope all of you are doing well and is continuing to help those who are in
need.

Please hide my identity.
It took me a while to write my story as I was still recovering while
continuing with work.
Actually, as I am writing this hindi ko parin alam sasabihin.

7 years of no contraception

My partner and I have been together for almost 7 years and we very
intimately active from the very start. However, just this year, we started
living together and were less active due to constraints of work. I think
wrong sa end namin na we never practiced any birth control methods and we
got lenient with it kasi never ako nagkaron ng possible pregnancy on my
end, and no lates or missed periods at all throughout ng relationship
namin. That’s why we were caught off guard nung nalate ako for more than a
week.

I had a hunch that I am expecting, as I always do my research, and I’ve had
teenage pregnancy before.
And true enough, I did my test november 15, and it came out positive.

Promotion, inflation/economy

Excitement and dismay

Pareho kaming gulat pero with very different perspectives. Naexcite siya,
ako naman nadismaya. Mainly because I just got promoted at work rin and we
were only starting out our lives.

Dismaya in a sense rin na parang naulit yung nangyari sakin during my first
pregnancy. I was fresh out of highschool and got admitted to my dream
university, only to find out na it would be taken away from me. But the
difference here is that noon, I was a teenager, I was not made aware that I
had options. Unang una sa lahat, nakakalungkot dahil we live in a very
outdated country in terms of women’s health care. Very big X ang usapang
pro-choice. Illegal pa nga e. But now, I am of age naman, actually at the
age na tamang tama lang to start a family, pero I do not want this
pregnancy at all.

But those are all my initial thoughts. Ramdam ng agad ng partner ko na ayaw
ko though he was excited, and after half a day since finding out that I am
pregnant, narealize rin namin na we are not ready. Sa totoo lang ang hirap
ng buhay ngayon, economy na economy palang natin, and the world we live in
is very unsafe sa totoo lang. And ayaw naming mag bigay buhay sa bata na
alam namin na hindi pa kami ready para mabigyan siya ng magandang buhay. So
we talked about it, and he told me na I have his full support kung ano man
maging desisyon ko.

 

Mifepristone and Misoprostol

A few days passed, I did my research and was able to find out about
Project486. I read stories of other women and the success rate of the
process and how safe it was. So I emailed the team and got a response the
same night. I spoke to Sir John and he educated me about everything that I
needed to know. He even shared his sentiments about how outdated our
country is pag dating sa mga ganitong bagay, which I completely agree with.
So we that, my partner and I decided to proceed with the procedure.

The medicines came in, and Sir John provided me with a strict schedule that
I followed to the tee.

First day was the Mife #1 day. I followed the light meal and fasting hours.
Sa totoo lang yes mejo mahirap ung fasting, lalo na at babad ako sa
trabaho, so I coped with the thirst and hunger by sleeping. On day 1 I
started to bleed lightly. Very minor cramps lang, I’m really good with pain
tolerance. I remembered nung unang pregnancy ko, I was supoosed to be on
labor and I was induced pero wala akong naiindang sakit. The bleeding, as
per Sir John is a very good sign na my body is reacting well to the meds.

Day 2 of Mife #2, followed the strict schedule, and the bleeding was a bit
like a normal period, tipong day 1 of my flow siya. I have high hopes na
magiging successful talaga yung procedure. There was pain and cramps, pero
since I have high tolerance sa pain, I was able to bear with it.

Day 3, the big day, Sir John instructed me to do buccal instead of the
vaginal method. If I am being honest at this point sobrang lata and
nanlalambot na ako, due to fasting and all, and I though to myself na I
would get by this process by sleeping the pain and hunger away ulit. 1
hours after doing buccal ito na. The pain na di ko inaakalang pwedeng
makakatapat ko. And after 4 hours in total, I felt like I wanted to poop or
let some blood out. Gawain ko kasi na when I am on my period, and may
onting sakit, I would sit on the toilet (with diapers on) to let the blood out.

Nung unang cr ko, mejo marami raming dark blood cloths ang lumabas.

I sent them photos but confirmed Sir John confirmed na hindi pa ito.

So I changed my diapers

and went back to bed. 30 minutes after, I felt to urge again to go to the
bathroom, either to poop or again, let some blood out. Nagulat ako ng may
bumulwak na blood cloths ulit, but this time may kasama ng fleshy matter na
parang may liquid sa loob. That first thought that came to mind was that
ito na yung baby namin. Reason being is that muka siyang parang amniotic
sac. Or bahay bata kung tawagin satin.

 

I sent photos and pina bulatlat nila sakin to be sure.

My thoughts were confirmed nung nabutas ko siya, parang
tubig yung pumutok.

After Sir John and Sir Alex saw the photos, they confirmed that I was
“Officially not pregnant”. They provided me with post-op recovery
instructions and advised me of what to expect afterwards.

 

A lot of  what if’s

Here is the thing. Bago ko pa macontact ang Project486, as days went by na
nagsastart magsink in sakin na may dala dala akong bata, a future child
namin ng partner ko, a product of our love, may hindi kasi maiiwasan na
feeling na you are starting to love this being na dala dala mo. Kahit yung
partner ko, he already loves the baby kahit di pa siya technically
nagfoform. Maraming what ifs, possibilities na nawala, pero again, it is my
decision and my partner supported me. Being practical, hindi talaga tama na
mag dala ng bata sa mundo ng hindi kayo ready. Sadly dahil sa baliko at
paurong ng mindset ng karamihan, hindi nila to naiintindihan, and we as
women are being robbed of our rights to make decisions for our own bodies.
I am happy that there are pro-choice organizations like Project486.
Sinwerte ako dahil I did my research and hindi basta basta nagtake ng kung
ano ano, at pumunta kung saan saan due to panic.

Sa ngayon, if I am being honest, hindi ko parin napoprocess lahat mentally
and emotionally. Binababad ko nalang isip at katawan ko sa trabaho para d
ko maisip kasi pakiramdam ko sasabog ako, lalo na at wala kaming mapag
kwentuhan ng partner ko, tinatago namin ito to ourselves. Pero after ng
project sa trabaho ko humingi na ko ng leave rin to go through the grieving
process.

We kept our baby for now sa isang box and soon we’ll buy a plant to serve
as his/her resting place.

If you do not know what to do and have no one to turn to, you can place
your trust to Project486 team. Walang halong biro. They won’t judge you, in
fact they are giving you your power back to make a decision for yourself.
What ever you are going through and what ever may come after, they are here
to give a helping hand.

To our would-have-been baby, if the time is right, sana ikaw parin yung
bumalik samin, and hopefully that time we will be able to give you the life
you deserve.

Warm regards to all and thank you.