Hi sir Alex. It’s been 10 days after the procedure. This is the first day
that my bleeding stopped. Been wanting to write this nung mga nakaraang
araw kasi feeling ko isa sya sa step of moving forward ulit. Through
writing this, maybe I can eventually move forward kung ano man yung
nangyari.

I’m Lai (not my real name), 25 years old. My boyfriend and I turned 7 years
this year. After our staycation for our anniv, we have this dilemma na baka
nabuntis nya ako that time because the condom broke and that time we both
know na I’m fertile.

So for the longest time, naging aware ako sa katawan
ko and naghintay talaga for my period to come. May days na parang sobrang
sleepy ko, pagod, nahihilo, syempre di ko inisip dahil in denial ako. Until
dumating na yung time na dapat magkakaroon na ako pero hindi dumating.

I ntried doing the Herbal (Dong Quai and Vit C) method na nakita ko online
through a sis hanggang on my 35th day wala parin, na usually nagkakaron ako
every 31st-32nd day. After the 35th day, that’s when I knew.. puro cramps
lang ako pero wala paring period. My boyfriend and I had the talk.

Sobrang in denial ko pa to use a PT kasi hindi ko alam what kind of emotions yung
darating. Hanggang sa we decided to do plan B na nga na based sa email na
nareceive ko kay sis, we really should have a plan B so dun ko nalaman yung
Project 486.

That night, nag email agad ako sa email na nakalagay tapos
nung madaling araw na nakareply agad si sir Alex. That morning, nag usap
kami ng partner ko then we decided to buy a PT.

After seeing the result, honestly I felt happy (knowing that I’m capable pala) but sad syempre at
the same time. I cried while holding and showing the result sa partner ko.
Halos di ko siya malapitan kasi there’s a part of me na parang gusto kong
umatras sa gagawin namin pero baka magkaron na din ng complications dahil
sa ginawa kong herbal method hanggang sa napag usapan na namin na ituloy
dahil we’re not yet ready, we can’t give the life that we wanted to give sa
mga anak namin, not this time.

 

I sent the photos to sir Alex then may instructions to contact sir john.

When I texted sir John, he replied agad and told me to call him around 7pm.

While waiting na mag 7pm naging helpful sakin yung stories ng ibang person like

me na makikita sa blog nila sir Alex.

 

The moment na nag usap kami ni sir John, dun na ko nakampante.
Sobrang galing and comforting in a way na makausap si sir John. After weeks
of having the dilemma, para akong kahit papano ay nabawasan ng bigat.
Inexplain nya lahat, yung meds, the procedure and sinagot nya lahat ng
questions ko regarding this. It gave me comfort that day na I’m in good
hands at alam kong hindi ako mapapano dahil there’s a team somewhere na
nagllook out for me.

That night we sent the payment then after 2 days nakuha na agad namin yung meds.

I think Sir john made the schedule of my procedure in a way na sakto talaga sa sinabi ko  sakanya na we’re planning to rent an airbnb for the third day pala less stress din and we can move
freely. Nagstart ako with the procedure after 2 days nung nareceive namin.

During the first day, kaya naman yung low diet, nakapasok din ako ng
trabaho nung araw na yon. Same with the 2nd day.

On the third day, pag gising ko may light brown discharge ako then told sir john about it then
it’s a good sign daw. Since by 9pm pa ako magstart with the miso inserts
and pillow maneuver, namili na kami ng partner ko ng mga kailangan namin
bago kami magpunta sa location namin. Lagi ko lang naiisip that time was
hindi ako pwedeng mastress, dapat happy lang so I tried my best to hold or
shake off yung negativities.

By 9pm nagstart na kami with the maneuver and inserts. Medyo masakit at

nakakangalay sa likod but luckily sobrang inaalagaan ako ng partner ko that time,

trying his best to make me comfortable. Sobrang hands on din ni sir John, making sure na nagagawa
namin ng tama yung procedure and that I’m ok. After taking a glass of water
nung 12 am and the buccal miso at 2 am, dun na ako nakaramdam ng cramps.

Yung cramps na mas masakit sa normal dysme. 5am, nareceive na namin yung go
signal na pwede na ako tumayo after the maneuver. Pagtayo ko, dun ko na
naramdaman na parang sobrang lakas na menstrual flow and sabi ko sa partner
ko tignan na namin sa diapers. Nung unang check wala pa akong nakikitang
unfamiliar. I needed to pee so pag ihi ko, dun na lumabas yung iba pang
POC, took a photo of it then sent it to sir alex and sir john to check.

When sir John messaged me that I’m officially NOT pregnant, nagprepare na
kami to sleep eat and dispose the POCs. I felt weak and tired pagtapos ng
procedure, so I had to eat alot to regain my strength and sleep.

We decided to bury the POCs, because after all, syempre that should have
been our first baby. Days have passed, tuloy tuloy parin yung pagrecover
and pagbleed pero di parin ako makapaniwala sa nangyari. After 4 days of
the procedure, dun ko palang natanggap(?) narealize yung mga nangyari, I
had an emotional breakdown.

Asked my partner if once ba naisip nyang ituloy nalang yung pregnancy, he said yes, pero alam naming we’re both not yet ready. Kaya man naming buhayin, pero hindi namin kaya ay yung sasabihin ng
mga magulang namin, yung takot sa kung anong pwede pang mangyari.

It was the perfect gift that we had but it hurts so so much to accept that we had
him/her at the time when we’re still building a life that we want him/her
to have. The baby became one of our greatest motivation to do better and be
better.

There will be a lot of healing that will definitely happen to me and
to whoever reads this. This is really a tough journey but I’m thankful and
comforted that I trusted the doctors behind Project 486.

Thank you so much sir Alex and sir John.