Abortion Pills in Pampanga
more stories from Pampanga
My Not-So-Inspirational Story
Hi, I’m Luis, 32F. It’s been a year since my husband and I separated. Ironically, the day we parted ways was also my first day at a new job—a fresh start I desperately needed. Everything felt new. I didn’t cry, maybe because I had already shed too many tears in the years prior, hoping for a miracle that never came. Perhaps not all prayers are meant to be answered.
I had no choice but to become stronger—stronger than I ever thought possible. I chose to live alone, distancing myself from family and friends. I didn’t broadcast what had happened, only confiding in our immediate family, because I don’t owe anyone an explanation. I simply disappeared and began building a new version of myself.
People often say, “You can’t have it all,” and for me, that “all” was a family. It was my dream to be a loving wife and mother. That vision has always been my guiding light.
Now, I find myself in the company of someone new—a coworker. I enjoy his presence, but I’m not ready for any kind of commitment. He knows that I’m not emotionally, mentally, or financially stable, and I don’t want to use him as a crutch to move forward. We’re both fighting our own battles.
Then life threw another curveball. As many of you in this group might have guessed, I found out I was pregnant. It came as a shock, especially since I was told conceiving would be difficult due to my Ovarian Endometrioma. After years of trying with my husband and never becoming pregnant, I never imagined this would happen now.
Fast forward to that moment: two lines on a test, and my world stopped—again. I didn’t know how to feel. A part of me was happy that I could conceive, but another part of me felt utterly broken because I knew deep down that I wasn’t ready.
Struggle, Desperation, Hope
Coming from a deeply religious family, I knew the judgment I would face if they ever found out about my situation. But even more than that, I knew myself—I wasn’t ready. Emotionally, mentally, and financially, I was in no state to bring a child into the world. Everything felt like a mess, but I wasn’t blaming anyone; I knew this was my responsibility.
The father of the child wanted to keep it, but I just couldn’t. We couldn’t.
In my desperation, the first thing I did was search online for someone who could provide abortion medication or offer a procedure. After reading some feedback and seeing screenshots, I convinced myself it was legitimate. Looking back, I realize my desperation blinded me—I didn’t do the proper research to understand how a real medical procedure should work.
The seller provided the medicine along with instructions on when and how to take it. It was supposed to be over in one day. I experienced cramps, mild bleeding, and passed some blood clots. Throughout the day, I kept updating the seller, because something didn’t feel right. Afterward, they told me to take a pregnancy test after two weeks to confirm it was successful.
Those two weeks were agonizing—overthinking, physical changes, emotional turmoil. When I finally took the test, it was still positive. I felt crushed. I didn’t want to prolong this any further. I wanted it to be over, for me, and for the baby.
I messaged the seller, and they told me that sometimes abortions are incomplete. They sold me the same medication again, this time at a higher dose. Once more, I followed their instructions—more cramps, more bleeding, more clots. Again, they told me to wait two weeks. And again, it failed.
I couldn’t understand how, even in the midst of such difficult circumstances, some people could still lie and scam those in need. I was frustrated and devastated.
At that point, I had lost hope. If I hadn’t taken that first round of medication, I might have considered continuing the pregnancy. But now, I knew the effects—both physical and psychological—had already set in. I felt trapped, not knowing who to turn to or where to go next. It was like hitting a dead end.
One day, while randomly scrolling on TikTok, I came across a confession about a relationship issue. In the comments, someone mentioned “Project 486.” There were no details, just the name. I couldn’t forget it, but I also couldn’t find the post again.
Out of curiosity, I searched for Project 486 and found very little information online. I did come across a blog filled with testimonials, but I was hesitant—after my previous experience, how could I trust again? What if it was another scam? But…what if it wasn’t? What if this was my last chance? My last chance to let my baby rest peacefully?
I emailed Project 486, clinging to a thread of hope. They responded, directing me to someone who would guide me via WhatsApp. That’s when I was introduced to Dr. JJ. He asked for detailed information about my health and suggested a phone conversation.
Our conversation was thorough and informative—unlike anything I had experienced with the previous seller. What stood out most was that Dr. JJ never pressured me to buy anything. The focus wasn’t on the product; it was on my well-being and the baby’s condition. For the first time, I felt cared for. It even made me reconsider continuing the pregnancy, but I knew I couldn’t risk the baby’s health after having already taken abortion medication.
I was 13 weeks along, and the baby was growing quickly. Dr. JJ made sure I understood the risks, especially considering my medical history. Given that most of the women in my family required C-sections, it was likely I would face the same challenge. Dr. JJ walked me through the pros and cons, providing careful guidance, but ultimately gave me the time and space I needed to make my own decision.
I decided to try one last time.
I purchased the medication and waited for instructions. Unlike before, I didn’t have to chase anyone for updates or guidance. They monitored me closely from the moment I started taking the medication.
On the third day, the day I dreaded most, I was terrified. I prepared myself mentally and physically, and my partner was there to support me. According to the timeline, it would take about eight hours for the results. I took the misoprostol at 4 PM, and by 7 PM the POC had already come out.
The pain was overwhelming. The amount of blood was unlike anything I had expected. And then, I saw my baby—small and lying amidst the blood. Beyond the physical pain, my heart shattered. I felt crushed under the weight of guilt and sadness.
I’m sorry, I wasn’t brave enough.
If you’re looking for a story to reassure you about the legitimacy of the people here, I can tell you that, yes, they are. However, I’m not here to claim that what I did was morally right, because it wasn’t—at least not by society’s standards. But ultimately, you have to decide if the life you’re considering will have the future it deserves.
Did I find peace after the procedure? Both yes and no. We all choose the burdens we carry each day, and this is mine. I will live with the pain of my decision forever, but I also accept the responsibility that comes with it. This was the battle I chose.
Thank you, Project486, for allowing me to begin this bittersweet journey.
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Here are screenshots of the convo of another Pampanga patient with her assigned consultant
The reason why I needed to terminate my pregnancy is that I’m scared and I’m not financially ready.
I decided to terminate my pregnancy because I’m not ready and I’m not financially stable.
It’s a hard decision but I have decided to terminate my pregnancy because my partner and I are not ready yet. As we’re not financially, and emotionally capable as well.
I trusted project486. I saw in them that they are not just selling…they are selling to make money because they want to help people they know are in need and not just selling because they are concerned about buyers like me and you will really learn a lot from them and they will not let you get hurt..and if something happens to you, they will tell you everything and explain even if you don’t buy from them, I still decided that I will buy from them because I know I can trust them. I hope the procedure will be ok. Thank you project 486