To whoever is reading this,

I hope you find this narrative of mine to be something to look upon even in the most critical and desperate times. Whether if you’re facing this alone or with your loved ones, know that there is still a chance at something better despite your circumstances even if it is a hard decision to do.

As most uploaded stories in this site goes, I am also someone who wasn’t ready yet; to become a mother nor a parent. By all means, I aspire to be a loving mother and a great parent someday when I get to build a good and stable life for
my family in the future. And yet, never have I thought of myself having to choose this route as an option in my life. It’s been three weeks since my procedure.

For a quick background, I am currently a boarding College Student in Cagayan de Oro
City, Misamis Oriental. I have a steady relationship with my boyfriend for years,
with both of us in college now. Pregnancy has never been our concern for ages since we rarely do it due to our studies. My menstruation comes monthly or mostly with a span of 30 to 40-50 days so I’m technically irregular. Although I have never taken any contraceptive pills for protection, I did kept track of my cycle through
calendar and withdrawal method. But that was our mistake, although we managed to pull off that risk for years, we didn’t anticipate to finally have a consequence out of it.

I had my last period on Dec 26, 2025, before going on a trip out of town for Christmas break. When I got back 2 weeks later, me and my boyfriend got into contact followed by a few more in a few days. Although we had that as our safe days, it was still a risk considering it’s a week until my ovulation.

After that, my period never came for January or February. At first, I thought it was just due to
academic stress that made me skip it, followed by weekly fatigue and fevers if I overdo studying during exams. It didn’t concern me at all too as I can go almost 60 days (2 months) for my period to come sometimes. Then comes March, and still no period so I lowkey had my doubts but still in denial of the idea. That was another mistake of mine. I brushed it off and just tried drinking and purchasing food supplement pills online instead. Hoping they would help me induce my delayed
period but still nothing.

By April, I couldn’t help to notice I was gaining weight a bit. I also experienced bloating from time to time, but it wasn’t that bad either. Mind you that the only reason I hadn’t really tried taking a PT yet is I have no obvious symptoms
at all for months. No nausea or vomiting, not even spotting since we did it. I don’t even feel the need to pee more often or anything else. Me gaining weight was also me stress eating sometimes and the fatigue/fever is due to sleepless nights of me studying mostly. I also thought it could be PCOS at this point, coz it runs in my family.

3rd Week of April came; I only got bothered thinking about the possibility when I felt a
slight bump just by my abdomen. It’s not noticeable when I stand or look in the
mirror, only when I try to feel it with my fingers laying down. It’s not that hard either, more like a small lump. I also started to feel uncomfortable by then when I sleep on my stomach, which never happened before. I thought I was going crazy because I’m also afraid to try the PT and find out my suspicions to be true. Big mistake again.

 

I finally told my boyfriend about my doubts and the possibility of it all and he decided to buy me a pregnancy test kit. We tested it after lunch, and it came back positive, with a faint line at the T. We were in shock; I couldn’t help but cry
but both of us talked and decided what to do next at that moment. We are both still young and have just hit our 20s; neither of us has any financial capabilities yet and gets support only from our parents. Me, faced with the expectations and
responsibility of being an eldest daughter, I cannot afford to bring a child yet into this world without graduating first and having a stable career/finances. Neither does my boyfriend. Taking the bold step of raising one would probably cause us lots of disappointments and hardships, physically and mentally. Both of us were raised in a traditional household with high expectations, and we have nowhere else
to go either. At that point, I knew we only had each other to rely on. And I wouldn’t want to raise a child of ours thinking they weren’t planned or unexpected out of wedlock.

 

We tried searching online for any way to seek help. And my boyfriend stumbled upon this site. We started reading the entries from different people and from different places about their experiences and how the abortion helped them get through life better than taking it to term.

 

We emailed them and got a response in 2
hours. I’ve read all their emails thoroughly and sent all the details they need before they referred me to a consultant called Dr. JJ. Through him I found out that by this time I was already 15-16 weeks pregnant base on my details. I felt my body freeze at the idea that I was already in my 2nd trimester and that the fetus has already slowly taken form. I explained to him why it took me so long to find out due to having no symptoms but he made it clear that one should not simply rely on physical observations and symptoms at all. He also explained to me carefully that I must be sure to proceed to follow up the procedure when I’m identified as a LOW-
RISK patient and the possible consequences after it. I had to be strong-willed to carry it on. We continued to talk and seek advice towards Dr. JJ the following day and proceeded to buy the proper meds for the medical abortion. He was so patient and direct with us on what to do and the way of assurance they offer towards us in terms of privacy and legit medicines they provided.

We made sure to read every instruction, reminder, and provided link they sent to us to be enlightened to what actually goes on and happens with the procedure.

I knew the meds were high-end but with the discounts they offer, we were able to pay for it as well. It took 4 days for the package to arrive to our location and I arranged the time and date to when I would start the 3-day procedure.

– ENTIRE PROCEDURE DURATION –
Day 1 and 2: I only fasted for a few hours before I drank my 1st and 2nd
Mifepristone. Most women are said to be careful not to vomit the meds but because
I don’t feel nausea I didn’t feel like I would. But I took 1 Bonamine (Meclizine
Hydrochloride) pill just for precaution 30 mins beforehand and everything went
smoothly. No bleeding, cramping or spotting either.
Day 3: I made sure to prepare myself for this as most women would say this was
the most painful and longest duration for the procedure to finish. I gathered all the
materials needed and several medicines as instructed. My boyfriend then came to
help me and stayed as my companion. We were advised to stay in contact with Dr.
JJ on what updates are happening. And I braced myself for what’s to happen next.
4:00 pm: I started the 4 Misoprostol insertion then did the pillow maneuver for 8
hrs. I also wasn’t allowed to eat or drink anything other than what’s instructed.
Everything I need would be assisted by my companion and I fell asleep.
5:30 pm: I woke up feeling the painful cramps at first and the uncomfy feeling due
to my position. I asked Dr. JJ and he told me to drink ibuprofen but suggestibly
around 7:00 – 7:30 pm so that I would be able to anticipate the more painful wave
later in the night. I tried to sleep the pain away as well and just did hot compress.
6:30 pm: I woke up again in agony as I can no longer suppress the painful cramps
(I have high pain tolerance but the cramps were like actually giving birth). I started
trembling and sweating while I cried holding my boyfriend’s hand on how painful
it is. He contacted Dr. JJ before I was allowed to drink Ibuprofen because it was
too early, but given my condition I couldn’t tolerate the pain anymore. I started
having chills and my boyfriend layered me in blankets and put a wet towel on my
forehead. Everything was blurry and hazy to me at this point. I eventually passed
out due to the pain and was unresponsive for a bit which made my boyfriend
worry.
7:30 pm: The pain continued but I had to drink 1 Bonamine (Meclizine
Hydrochloride) incase I might feel nauseous later. This is the only time as well to
be able to drink a cup of water.
8:00 pm: This time I have to take the 2 sublingual and 2 buccal misoprostol in my
mouth and keep it there till 11:00 pm. I wasn’t allowed to talk and communicated
only through text messages. By this time, the pain was more bearable than earlier
but it was still lingering. I tried closing my eyes to make the time go by but I was
afraid to sleep as I might swallow the meds accidentally.
9:00 pm: The pain resurfaced again and I can only make grunt noises as I cried
again to my boyfriend because everything was getting hazy again and I can’t
communicate properly.
10:00 pm: I was restless as the pain tripled its intensity. This time it was no longer
cramps but in my vagina. Dr. JJ speculated it could be the POC (Products of
Conception) trying to come out. By almost 11:00 pm, I felt the surging pain and
the need to push something. It came out and it felt like something burst or popped.
My boyfriend checked and we speculated it was the water bag (amniotic sac) that
burst which meant it could be the fetus next. I also swallowed the remnants of the
meds in my mouth.
11:00 pm: I was in so much pain that I thought I might give up but with only an
hour left, I persevered the pain till it hit 12:00 am.
12:00 am: I was so exhausted that I felt dehydrated and nauseous when I stood up
and told Dr. JJ that I’ll take the bathroom first before taking the 2nd round of
Misoprostol. I felt the urge to pee but I had to do it by the bathroom floor. With the
pain surging through my trembling legs, I felt the need to push it out and there it
was. The fetus in its small form and the placenta followed after. I was so shocked
that it took me a minute to actually process what came out of me. I was so scared
but I had to clean and wash everything because there was blood everywhere. I then
took a photo and sent it to Dr. JJ before he confirmed that the procedure was
successful. But still, there I was trembling and crying because of everything.
– THE AFTERMATH –
I broke down hard and cried to my partner about everything. As much as what
we did came out successful, I couldn’t help but feel guilty and in grief trying to
process the emotional and physical trauma that I just went through in a span of 8
hours. My boyfriend cried as well as he holds unto me telling me that everything
will be alright eventually. We kept comforting each other in the following hours
and discussed how we must bury the fetus and the placenta in another place
properly. In the following days, I was still recovering through that experience and
following up the medications and instructions Dr. JJ had for me. Though I needed
time to grieve and properly move on pass it, I also tried to slowly recover to my
daily routine. I also had an unexpected occurrence of producing milk and my
breast enlarging, probably because my body thought I gave birth and I was advised
to just let it be in a few weeks.
It’s been about 3 weeks by now, and it took me this long to process everything
thoroughly. Knowing what I loss was something a part of me and I still feel it to
this day, and probably for a long time.
To anyone who might be reading this, if you seek familiarity with what I have just
gone through know that you aren’t alone. I know it feels dark, scary, and really
painful on our part to go with this option but please be strong for yourself. Be with
people who support and love you unconditionally that they respect your choices
and your body. It might not be what we want or we ever imagine going through,
but it is what we needed no matter the different circumstances we came from.
There are people who goes through this as well and there are people who can help
you get through this. Don’t repeat the same mistake I had for myself with delaying
the possibility and withholding oneself due to denial and fear. Seek medical help
immediately and get the proper advice and guidance you need to get through this. I
sincerely hope you find the courage and strength to overcome and do better in your
future endeavors.