Everything was going smoothly until na na force ako out of bed, di ko pa time para tumayo, di pa 12 midnight. but I was forced to stand and move at 10, I was scared, I got scared that the procedure was cut short. What if it was incomplete and I have to be in an ER edi malalaman na lahat?

I’m not sure how I should start with my story, andaming nangyari in that week alone eh pero I’ll try my best.

Around Feb 22, wednesday nakaranas ako ng pagsusuka. It wasn’t as bad as the days before (halos na duduwal lang ako). I never thought na I was preggy kase its a frequent occurence talaga (I’m acidic and yung times na naduduwal ako is similar talaga pag tumatama acidity ko) but no, this time it was different. After taking a nap in my office, I was hit with sudden heat as in nainitan agad katawan ko for no reason eh may fan naman kami. It was enough to make me feel nauseus and made me run to the terrace para magpalamig pero it didn’t help nahihilo parin ako. It escalated badly na I vomited and felt weak. Buti nalang andun yung partner ko and he rushed me to the nearest clinic. Dun nagkaalaman na buntis pala ako.

I was already around 4 weeks pregnant pala, remembering our last intercourse last Jan 22, kinabahan ako. My partner had no problems with it, infact he is willing to keep it. Gusto din ng side ng family nya lalo na yung father side nya. However, complicated sa side ko. Mahigpit sa side ko, strictly bawal pa ako mabuntis (at least yun sa paningin nila) and it hurts when I did bring it up they were disapproving of it. Complicated din sa mother side ng partner ko, same as my side, mahigpit din sila.

 

Both of us are in college, I’m graduating while he’s 2 years behind me(for the reason of working earlier in his brother’s company. Note he’s 21 and I just turned 22 this month of february). We both agreed to terminate the pregnancy.

 

I was desperate and actually came across multiple sellers, I had to search about this abortion pill kase di pala nabibili dito yung Plan B. There are sellers who did entertain me in the slightest pero may kutob ako na wag, wag muan mag research pa. Kase the way they answered my questions parang inaavoid na pinapaikot “mam original to” “mam marami naman ako proof” but we’re talking about medicines here. Pwede ako mamatay if I made the wrong move.

 

Luckily, I saw project 486’s website. Nung una duda din ako pero looking through some blogs dun medjo nakukuha trust ko. It was also a coincidence that I did come across a rappler report that sounded like it was describing this website. I gambled and messaged them.

 

The following was a lot easier, I read yung mga mails and then na assign ako sa isang consultant (dr. JJ). I had my consulation through phone call at around 1 am.

 

Na explain lahat, my partner was in the call with us. The more he explained the more I was able to convince myself na I can trust them. I can try to trust them at least. Then yung authenticity of the medicines were brought up. Dr.JJ educated us about it, about how it should be in blister foils and he actually explained na peke talaga pag wala sila sa packaging na ganun. Napa flashback ako sa mga sellers that I nearly believed, buti nalang hindi, I could’ve been in deeper trouble.

 

After the consultation, we had our final decision to actually go through with it. I readied my money and they are kind enough to give me a big discount.

 

While waiting for the package, lumalabas yung anxiety ko. Bigla akong natakot. The realization dawned on me na I don’t have any experience with this. Given it is my first pregnancy, pero yung takot na wala kang ka alam alam kaya di mo sure kung paano mo mapagplaplanuhan. Sorry but the best comparison na magagawa ko is parang nakilaban ka na walang kaaalam alam sa game ganon.

 

Me and my partner talked, what could’ve been with the baby. Na lilighten up nga yung mood ko, but the guilt of thinking I have to let her go is something hard to hide. Yes kutob ko rin na its a baby girl din.

 

Yung araw na dumating na yung package and I was gonna start my first day, everything was prepared. Meron na yung needed diapers, gloves, etc. I sent yung proofs kila sir na narecieve ko na and I was preparing for that night na iinumin ko na. At first I was confident, it was just one pill. But after taking that pill, I broke down. Its finally done, nagstart na abortion. It was a big wave of emotions that got me. I can’t believe I’m doing this and all I could say was “I’m sorry”.

 

The process was scary, on the second day na mife palang intakes ko, my partner is there to supervise me. Nakakaduwal yung gamot but Dr.JJ really pushed me to not vomit and so did my partner, I’m not really alone in this procedure since inaassist din ako ni Dr.JJ digitally and that was enough assurance that someone with knowledge is actually a chat away.

 

Third day is the scariest, yung miso intake. Its an 8 hr procedure na tuloy tuloy and this time walang mag susupervise sakin

 

I prayed, I stayed on call with my partner while going through it. It was… painful, yung fact na nasusuka ka, and yung part na nafefeel mo yung cramps (although its really similar sa menstruation cramps) ang scary na di ka pwedeng gumalaw and yung tahimik sa room is getting the best of me. Dr. JJ did tell me to take bonamine for the nausea and it helped a lot na tinulog ko nalang until my next schedules.

 

Everything was going smoothly until na na force ako out of bed, di ko pa time para tumayo, di pa 12 midnight. but I was forced to stand and move at 10, I was scared, I got scared that the procedure was cut short. What if it was incomplete and I have to be in an ER edi malalaman na lahat?

 

Na feel ko pagdudugo, and my gosh I remember how bloody the bathroom is. Parang crime scene sya. Then miraculously, I saw yung POC. I alarmed Dr. JJ beforehand na nadistorbo yung procedure and sent pictures of the POC. The wave of relief na sinabi it was a success.. it was enough and equivalent na makakatanggap ka ng diploma and you graduated na.. no joke ganun yung relief.

 

Right now, as I’m writing this. I am recovering and really thankful sa project 486 for being very patient and accomodating saakin. Alam ko makulit ako sa questions alongside my partner but they stuck with me throughout the procedure. There were still regrets and we gave it a proper burial, we really wished na iba ending. But nonetheless, thankful at natulungan kami. Kung may duda ka, let me tell you this, trust them because they can help. Trust them because they can help with the choice you’ve chosen to terminate your pregnancy and they will help in the best way and authentic way they can. The medicines are legit. Never trust sketchy online sellers.