Hi Alex,

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You can call me JAV. I am 31, a solo parent with an 8-year-old son, a breadwinner of an extended family, and I am Patient PRJCT486-121923Vj. This is my Project 486 journey.

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Dec 19, 2023 – This is the day that I found out that I am pregnant. At first, I thought that I’m just having my PMS like having sore breasts, cramps, and frequent headaches. I am normally delayed and get my period within a month and a week. And by this time, I am way past my normal cycle. Using three different pregnancy test kits, I confirmed that I am really pregnant.

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This news is devastating for me because I know that I am not ready in any way – physically, mentally, and financially. My partner does not have a job. Though he always says that he wants a child, I know that with his current behavior, he will not be able to support me and my child. I have lots of responsibilities and there is no way I will be able to support another child right now. This is why I have decided that I have to do this.

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I was desperately looking for help online. I came across unreliable websites and people who offer too-good-to-be-true process and medication. Luckily, I’ve read in one of the forums about Project 486. I browsed through their site and read a lot of stories of women who are just like me. I then felt that I am in the right place. I immediately emailed Alex and got a response after around 2 hours. After providing my details, I got Doc John as my consultant.

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Dec 20, 2023 – We discussed around 6 in the morning. He explained everything to me, and this gave me a sense of relief that I am with the right hands. He was very professional, there was not even a single time that I feel that I am being judged or ridiculed. After more than 2 hours of discussion, I asked to have until the afternoon to decide. Though I know in myself that I want this and it is for the better, I still needed time for myself. In the afternoon, I confirmed that I am ready to do it and sent the payment right away. Doc John then sent me the detailed instructions as well as the things I needed to prepare for the process.

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Dec 22, 2023 – My package came. When I opened it, I’ll admit that I got scared that I might be scammed because the meds were hilariously packed. But I realized that it was all to protect the org, as well as the meds. I re-read the instructions and told Doc John that I will be starting the process after the Christmas. Being the breadwinner, my family will notice if I am missing during the occasion, so I’ve decided to do it during my winter break from my office.

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Dec 27&28, 2023 – My Day 1&2. The instructions for these days are light and easy to follow. I was able to run errands and act normal in the house.

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Dec 29, 2023 – My Day 3. When I read the instructions for this day, I was worried at first that I might not be able to do it alone. The thought that I will not be able to sit, stand, or walk for 8 hours while doing the process scared me. But Doc John assured me that I can do it, that there are a lot of patients who did it alone, and that he will be with me along the way. Initially, I talked to my partner about this when I decided to proceed with the process and was hoping that he has the same thinking as mine. But he said that he will not help me. So I was sure that I will be doing it alone. I needed to be strong and keep focused to have a successful result.

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At 4 PM, I started the process and followed the instructions carefully. From the fasting, to eating light meals, to when I needed to take the meds or when to drink water. The hardest part of the process may be the pillow maneuver, as it is physically tiring even though you are not actually doing anything. The hours are slow and it makes you think of unhappy thoughts. Doc John keeps reminding me that I need to take my mind out of it, stay focused and think of happy thoughts. Anxiety will decelerate the process.

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I was not able to even a wink of sleep, but 12MN came and I can now move and stand. Upon checking my diapers, there was only blood. Doc John said that it was normal. But minutes after, I felt the urge to pee. And there it was, the POC came out. I was so afraid to even touch it. I washed myself so I can do the documentation. I took pictures of it and sent it to Doc John. He then confirmed that that it is, I am now officially NOT pregnant. He provided me the post-process instructions and reminders.

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I put the POC in a box and decided that I will bury it in the cemetery in the morning, beside my father’s grave. I mourned and prayed for it. I kept asking for forgiveness for this decision that I have made. It was heartbreaking, but I know that it is all for the better.

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FOR ALL THE WOMEN LIKE ME, please don’t be afraid to make a decision that you think is best for you. You are not alone. It is never wrong to choose yourself. We might not have the same reasons for coming to a decision like this, but I know that as women, we all know what we want and what will be the best path to take in our lives. This might be something I will not ever want to do again in my life, but this time, I’m glad I did. I promised myself that I will be more careful with my actions, and will think of my unborn little angel every time I need to do something, to remind myself that every action has its consequences. The guilt and sadness will always be there, this hole in my heart might take time to heal, but there is no regret. I hope you all too find the strength and courage to do it.

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FOR PROJECT 486, Doc John, and Alex, thank you so much for all your help and guidance. I know how you are all risking your careers just to help women like me, but you are saving us, you are saving our lives. I have never felt stronger in my entire life. I have always thought of how people will see or think of me. My decision to do the process and choose myself is something I will not regret for the rest if my life. For people like me, you are a blessing in disguise. I’m glad I found you. I’ll forever be thankful.

Best Regards,
JAV