Oct 31, 2017
Ems, 32, Office Staff
Santa Cruz, Laguna, Philippines
This is my Story
Sept 15- LMP
Oct 17 – Positive, Im pregnant
I was in shock, I couldnt believe it. Minsan lng kme nagcontact ng bf ko. Inilagay ko na pati sa loob ko n hindi na tlga ako magbubuntis ulit due to my condition. I was operated due to dermoid cyst, i’ve only have one ovary left. Sabe ni OB, yung isang ovary ko daw my mga malilit n cyst rin pero hindi nmn nya kelangan tangggalin din. When i confirmed that i was pregnant, tumawag ako kay bf. Sabe ko hindi to pwede, although pinangarap ko to pero not now.. Not in our current situation. Kelangan natin muna isettle legally yung mga past relationship natin at hindi masesettle yun once they discover n buntis ako. Mawawalan ako trabaho and if thats happen, mawawala nrin yung bahay ko at hindi ko mapapag aral ang isa ko pang anak. Pero mahal n mahal nya yung baby namin at hindi nya kayang saktan to, willing sya igive up yung lahat lahat sa kanya para sa baby namin pero alam ko hindi yun madali katulad ng iniisip nya. Ako ang magdadala, nasa katawan ko sya. Ano nlng sasabihin mga tao sakin, mga tao sa paligid namin, hindi ako matatanggap ng pamilya ko. Pano ko dadalhin c baby kung puro stress ako at hindi ako masaya. Magiging illigitimate sya, itatago ko lang sya. Kaya nag come up ako sa decision na to.. I want my period back, gagawin ko to mag isa kung against sya d2, ayaw ko rin naman kc idamay pa sya sa kasalanang gagawin ko.
I researched to internet kung ano dapat kong gawin. Nagtake ako ng parsley at nag overdose ako ng vit c, pero wala man lang spotting, nanghina lang ako. Umorder rin ako ng dong quai sa tatlong seller puro out of stock sila. Then nabasa ko sa blog nung isang girl n project486 ang makakatulong sakin once n nag fail ako sa herbal abortion.
Oct 21, nag email ako.. Asking for help. I know damage n c baby so kelangang ipursue ko ang nasimulan ko. Nag aya c bf magtravel kaya di na ako nakapagcheck ng email ko. So pagbalik n pagbalik ko, that was oct 26 nag open ako email and i was happy n nireply ako ni alex of project 486, he gave me the number of sir john, at sobrang accomodating nya. In 2 hours call in-explain nya sakin everything, how safe it is, although lahat nmn ng gagawin di mawawalan ng risk. After ng call sinend n kagad nya sakin yung procedure, nag buy ako ng med, hindi sya kamahalan tulad ng inaasahan ko kc sobra sila nag eentertain so inassume ko medyo mahal kc aalagaan ka tlga during the whole process.
In 3 days, nakuha ko na yung pill. Tinitext nila ako from time to time kaya kampante ako na hindi sila scammer tulad ng iba. Hindi ko akalain na makakatagpo ako ng mga taong katulad nila. They are more than a doctor to me, not physically present pero hindi nila ipinafeel sakin na im alone. Day 3, (this day) alam ko eto yung pinakamahirap, im so scared, nervous, sabe ko baka makabilang ako sa 1% n nag fail, although 99% success abortion. Pero sabe ko na lang bahala na, wala na rin ako choice. Nasimulan ko na e. And then this morning, through the guidance, reminders of sir john.. At 2pm, I was confirmed not pregnant.. I have to rest to regain my strength, ganun pla yun, para ka tlagang nanganak. The only problem is pano ko iiexplain kay bf na wala na yung baby sa tyan ko..
Project 486, sobrang thank you. Theres no exact words na kaya kong sabihin on how thankful I am for helping me.
To all the girls na kakailanganin din gawin to, trust them – project 468- and you’ll be safe. Just follow their instructions, they will never leave you. They will answer your question and queries anytime of the day, i’ll assured you that.
To my little angel.. Sobrang sorry sa ginawa ko, kinailangan ko lang talaga gawin, i love you so much at napakahirap nito sakin. I deserve it, yung nararamdamn ko, yung pain and guilt. Sorry di kita napanindigan at naging selfish ako. Alam ko dadalhin ko to for the rest of my life, i wish bumalik ka sakin when everythings is ok..
Please forgive me Lord..
Ems, 32
—
A Patient’s Reflection on her Medical Abortion (pills used: Mifepristone and Misoprostol / Cytotec) in the Philippines (entry #44)
here’s another story from Laguna:
Abortion in Sta. Rosa Laguna: Boyfriend has no knowledge about my pregnancy and medical abortion
Last October, it was my first born’s birthday. That time I was hoping na mabigyan sya ng sibling in the mere future because we saw how she wanted to have someone who’ll play with her and as a mother I also want to have a bigger family. Month of November, na confirmed namin that I am indeed pregnant despite of the oral contraceptive pills I was taking. Nagulat kami ng partner ko dahil alam namin na hindi pa kami prepare physically at financially because we are both in college at graduating pa lang.
With a heavy heart and with the big help of Project486, we will be doing the procedure for the sake of our family.
We are truly grateful that Project486 is very willing to help us and we have 100% trust that the procedure will be successful.
To sir Alex and sir John, thank you so much for the patience and to my baby, we are sorry that we can’t have you yet. Hindi kami nagmamadali dahil mahirap ang buhay, you can go back to us when the time is right. I’m sorry
I understand the struggle and the phrase you said na “Hindi kami nagmamadali kasi mahirap ang buhay” especially when you are still a college student. My partner and I are in the same situation na graduating palang kami.
They say Im at the right age, but age is not all the matter when you carry with you a soul with an unsecured future. Im 27 years old.. my major role today is to support and take care of my family and Mother who is turning to Senior age. In my 8 years working as an employee, I’m always saddened by the fact that I have zero savings or any financial Security or investment of the sort. Of course I dont blame it on me taking care of my family. I love them very much. But I am more saddened by the fact that financially, Im really not ready to raise a child of my own. Im thankful for PROJECT486 that while reading testimonies and stories here, these gave me hope and confidence that after all, I have a choice. For my baby angel, you will always remain in my heart as a constant reminder that once in my life, I had a chance to do better. Hopefully the procedure will be a success and I would make better decisions in the future. 🙏