It started in Aug when i was involved with my bf again after a year of separation. We didnt plan it and i didnt think of being pregnant. September came and my supposed to be menstruation didn’t come. Then I remember engaging in an activity i shouldnt have with my ex, especially i have cut ties with him again in early of September telling him not to disturb me anymore. I took pt and was not able to believe seeing two lines.

And I know i would not keep it. Not only did i have no capability to raise it financially but i also could not imagine the backlash this would cause on my family and my reputation. I didnt reach out to my ex right away as i know he got back with his ex as well. I scrolled thru all media platforms to check how to naturally get rid of then pregnancy and have tried multiple ‘do not eat or drink when you are pregnant ‘ in an attemp to have miscarriage but it didn’t work

 

Helpless i tried to reach out to my ex and inform him. We talked and he wants to keep the baby but I firmly said no. Seeing his face i imagine how cute the baby would be. Deep inside me i know i wanted to keep it as well. However with him i see no future. All i see would be suffering for the three of us if we decided to create this family. I know i have a future planned ahead of me and seeing the baby daddy, my emotions would not bear enough weight as an exchange for my future just to give life to another. I cut him off again and mentioned i will go back home and will not hold him responsible for the baby.

 

Then i search online and while scrolling on tiktok i found a comment about project 486,
I immediately look it up thru google and contacted alex thru email

 

Fast forward to recieving the meds,  I followed the Doctors advice for the first two days of taking mifepristone and it was like a very bad experience that i will never want to experience again. I felt lightheaded and nausea hit me so hard. I slept and slept and vomited.

On the third day i was so scared because what if the meds wont work. I have been taking mifepristone for two days but theres no effect yet (no bleeding yet, which is normal). But i dont have a choice but to trust the process.

Third day came i took misoprostol. 4 hours in, still I didnt bleed and it adds more doubts ,  what if it wont work out? And what should i do?  The pillow position was very hard as well especially i cannot even sit or lie down complely i have to do it for full eight hours. And i dont have any support. Aside from the baby daddy i didnt tell anyone on what i was going through.

 

I kept my heart strong and trusted everything , trusted the process. After 5 hours i felt something coming off me. For the first time after knowing i was pregnant i was relieved.

 

Although guilt was eating me, the relief i felt compensate for all the pain i suffered through those days that i was pregnant. I never want to through that kind of pain again but it was very much worth it. I was thankful. For that comment, i was thankful for the doctor who was with me in all the process. If it were not for them i dont even know what to do or whay future is ahead of me. Now im slowly healing and finally being happy again.