Writing this brings back so many emotions, because our journey with Project 486 has truly been one of the most life-changing experiences we’ve ever had.
My boyfriend and I had been dealing with my PCOS since last year, and honestly, we became so used to it that we didn’t think much about the chances of getting pregnant. So when that test came back positive, it was a complete shock. I remember just staring at it, not knowing whether to cry or smile. A friend then told us about this website that could help, and that’s how we met Alex and later, Doc John, who guided us every step of the way. They were patient, kind, and incredibly informative.
Because of my PCOS, my last menstruation was way back in February. Doc advised me to get an ultrasound to check how far along I was. During the ultrasound, they told me I was around 11 weeks. And when I heard my baby’s heartbeat for the first time, it felt like the world stopped. That tiny sound so strong, so real shattered me. It was beautiful, but it also broke me knowing that we weren’t ready.
My partner and I are still students. We’re still learning, still trying to build ourselves and our future. And as much as we wanted to keep our baby, we knew we couldn’t give him the life he deserves not yet. That decision was made out of love, not regret. We wanted to choose what’s best for him, even if it meant letting go.
The process lasted three days. The first two days were manageable, but the third day was the hardest. The pain felt like the worst kind of period cramps, and my body was so weak. I remember lying in bed for hours, holding my stomach, whispering prayers. Then, around midnight, I stood up and sat down — and that’s when we saw our baby. It was quiet. Peaceful. And in that moment, I just cried.
It was painful, yes, but it also opened my eyes to so many things about love, timing, and strength.
To our baby: we love you with all our hearts. You will always be a part of us. Maybe someday, when the time is right, we’ll meet again.
And to Project 486: thank you for being there when we felt so lost. Thank you for guiding us, for making us feel safe, and for allowing us to share our story so others may know that they’re not alone.