May 2, 2017

Misty, 22

Government employee

Makati City, Philippines

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I found out that I was pregnant, my whole world shattered. I am not ready yet and my relationship with my boyfriend is on the rocks. I usually get delayed so di naman ako masyado kinabahan. Pero nung last time, kinabahan na ako. Kasi we had unsafe sex. So I decided to take a PT. Nanlamig ako nung nakita ko na nagdalawang guhit sya, It took me 3 tries before I convinced myself na totoo na nga to. Di ko alam kung anong nararamdaman ko. Though, yung BF ko naman and his Family, gusto na na magkaron kmi ng baby. The problem is, I became unsure sa relationship namin kasi nakakasakal sya. To make the long story short, I decided to remove the baby. Una nagtake ako ng Vitamin C, Parsley and Dong Quai. E parang wala syang effect for me or sobrang eager lang ako makuha agad result. Lol. It wasn’t so easy for me kasi we live together and sobrang higpit nya. As in hindi ako pwedeng umalis ng bahay. So ayun, yung first day, di naman ako gano nahirapan.. Syempre yung mahirap yung sacrficing your food. Tapos meron pang may birthday sakanila non, so kunyari tikim tikim lang ako. On the third day, the big day, I checked in to a hotel all by myself. I started ng 7am yata. And pagdating ng mga 11am, I had an unbearable cramps, it lasted for hours. Pero tiniis ko nalang talaga lahat. When I was preparing for check out, mga 5pm na non, nakaramdam ako ng urge to pee tas parang sakit ng tyan ko. And ayon, biglang lumabas yung POC ko. Di ko alam kung anong mararamdaman ko nung nakita ko yung baby ko. Sobrang liit nya pa and meron na syang ayes. Tas parang pahaba na sya na parang magfform na ng legs. I was in my 8 weeks already when I did the procedure. Inabot ako ng 8 weeks kasi meron pa akong championship game na kailangan tapusin kaya napatagal ako. Supposedly, 6 weeks palang nagawa ko na dapat. But ayun nga. And before I forget, sobrang stressed ko sa kung paano tatakas sa BF ko, ang nainom ko nung 1st day is AHF instead of Mife. So nung dapat 3rd day, na, as in nainsert ko na yung Miso sa V ko, pinalabas ulit ni Sir John kasi nga nagkamali ako ng nainom. So napahaba ulit yung process ko. But in the end, nagawa ko pa rin naman.

Never sumagi sa isip ko na magagawa ko tong bagay na to, pero no one will understand unless andon na sila sa situation na yon. It wasn’t easy for us pero we had to make a choice. And we know that we’re gonna be forever sorry for this. But we had to make a choice for ourselves and for our baby. We all have our own reasons and no one will understand that unless they are in our situation.

To my baby, sorry. Sorry if Mommy wasn’t ready yet for you. Sorry if I was too selfish. Please understand that Mommy had to make a choice. For the both of us. And to our Lord God, sorry for what I did. I know walang kapatawaran to Lord, pero please understand me.

To Sir John and the whole team, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BEING SO PATIENT. Sa lahat ng questions ko and for the big help. Sobrang Thank you.