Abortion Pills in Bacolod: Still feeling guilty but I know I will heal in time (entry # 147 )

Abortion Pills in Bacolod


When my period was late, nung una I thought na ok baka late lang ako. Regular talaga ako ever since kaya nung almost 1 week na me na late, kinabahan na talaga ako. Nilagnat pa ako nun nong supposed to be the day nang aking period. I didn’t know na sign na pala yun. Nag start na rin akong mag crave ng mangga like out of nowhere. Like kahit hating gabi nag crave ako huhu. Tapos noong mag 2 weeks na akong late, nag sisimula na me na mag feel ng mild/heavy cramps and also breast tenderness. Akala ko pa nun paparating na yung period ko kasi biglaan na lang sumasakit yung puson ko. I even wear napkin sa school kasi baka bigla nlg ako datnan. Pero wala talaga. Wala kahit isang patak ng blood.


Dun na nag start yung stress ko and anxiety. I was preparing for our finals exam and hindi ako maka focus. I cannot even go out sa house when my friends invite me to hangout. I don’t want them to get suspicious sakin kasi I’m starting na rin ko feel nauseous. Nasusuka nlg ako out of nowhere. Nawalan rin ako ng gana na kumain. Jollibee is not tasty for me anymore. Rice doesn’t excite me na. Grabe yung anxiety ko nung mga time na yun. Nagtatago ako sa mga friend ko sa school everytime na nasusuka ako. I even lie to my bestfriend na dinatnan na ako kasi feeling ko suspicious na sya sakin kasi nag o-overdose na me ng pineapple juice sa school. Hanggang sa umabot na ng 1 month yung late ko. Hindi parin me nalawan ng pag asa na baka late lang talaga ako. I even thought na baka may PCOS ako kasi yung ate ko nag ka pcos recently. Told my partner about it, and he kept telling me ba baka preggy daw ako. I wouldn’t believe it despite sa mga signs na na fefeel ko. I started to loose weight kasi hindi ako makakain ng maayos.


I was afraid to do pregnancy test because baka positive ang maging results which I thought will be the end of me. Our finals week came, I still hasn’t bought a pregnancy test. So sabi ko papalipasin ko muna yung finals before ako mag buy and mag test. Ayoko ko kasi na hindi maka focus sa exams if nalaman kona yung result kahit na parang alam ko na juntis ako huhu. So I ordered online a pregnancy test para sakto lang na pagtapos ng exams dumating yung kits since nahihiya rin naman ako mag buy sa mga drugstore.


Me and my partner are not financially stable. Although na may online work me, hindi yun sapat para magpalaki nga child. I’m starting na rin to think kung ano gagawin ko if nag positive yung test ko. Our first option talaga is to abort the child. I have no one to talk to na may idea about abortion. Only me and may bf know that I might me pregnant. So what I did is that I research online ng mga possible na makatulong. I even inquire na sa mga nag bebenta ng meds sa twitter. Pero I told them na I will get back to them once nag POSITIVE na yung test ko. Until, I saw a comment on someone’s post she said something like ang dami nya daw ininom na gamot pero hindi nag work. Tapos merong nag reply sa kanya and nag ask if how is she na daw and then she replied na, ok na daw sya at yung nakatulong sa kanya ay yung project486.com. Without any hesitation, I search the website and contacted them right away. Dec.18,2023, the day that I emailed their email and they also responded to me the same day. They sent me a total of 4 emails in Filipino/English version. The email consists of all the information about on what to do. They told me to sent a picture of my pregnancy test with to lines in it. So since hindi pa ako nakapag test, I waited til my pregnancy kits na inorder arrive.


A week past, my finals is done. Pregnancy kits is delivered at home na. But then, wala pa rin akong courage to get tested. I am so scared so as my bf. All of the expectations and disappointments na iisip ko na. I cannot afford to be the disappointment. Every night na talaga ako naiiyak to the point na I want to tell my mum about it. Pero hindi ko magawa because I don’t her to get mad at me. So pinalipas ko muna yung Christmas and New year before nag pt kasi hindi ko gusto na malungkot ako sa time na yun. January 2, 2024 came, the time has come na. Nag pt ako nun and I was not surprised that It showed two lines. Yes I was definitely pregnant. I was shaking while hiding in our cr. And nung naka punta nako sa room ko, I started to cry na. I feel sorry for the baby because I’m his mom. We cannot afford to have him in this world. I’m only a year away to graduating. I cannot sacrifice my studies for him. What I did is that I immediately contacted project486 and sent them a pic of my positive pt with my written patient code which was given to me by them the first time I contacted them. They responded so fast to my email and assigned me to my consultant which was Dr. Jj. I messaged him in what’s app and he replied right away and told me to call him. He explained to me everything about medical abortion. Like lahat ng process. He was so knowledgeable and genuine. And right from the moment, I knew na mapapagkakatiwalan ko sya. He discussed the pricing and even give me the discounts pero nung time na yun medj kinapos ako because kakagaling lang namin sa vacation. But then with no hesitation they offered me a Kit na low price wherein 2 mife and 5 miso, so nag g na ako dun. You can see talaga na they wanted to help because of their gesture. So nung time na na ship na yung meds for the MA. He told me na he ask their them if they could upgrade my kit with 2 mife and 6 miso and their team agreed. I feel so loved and understood by the people I don’t even know personally. I am so thankful to them.



Meds arrive and I was so scared pa that time to drink so I texted Dr. John and he assured me na as long as I follow the procedure and kept on thinking happy things everything will be okay. I started my day drinking 1 mife. I felt nothing. I can still walk and do housework. Day 2, I drank na the 2nd mife. Nasusuka lang me, so medj nahirapan ako na pigilan yung pagsusuka ko para hindi masayang yung meds. When day 3 came, grabe yung kaba ng dibdib ko but Dr. John was there kept reassuring me. Day 3, 4pm I put 2 miso in my mouth and Inserted 2 sa aking V. Start na nung 8 hours pillow maneuver and fasting ko so no water and food for 8 hours. Hindi nman ako nahirapan sa food pero sa water grabe yung urge ko na uminom. Sobrang nauuhaw ako pero tiniis ko talaga para maging successful. 3 hours have passed since 4pm, I swallowed na the remaining mife sa mouth ko. Grabe na rin yung cramps na nafefeel ko. I put heat pack to ease the pain. I’m glad rin pala na my bf was beside me since day 1. He assisted me and helped me. Nung 8pm, I put the remaining 2 miso sa mouth ko until 11. Grave na yung cramps ko. Nag tetext na ako sang Dr. John na sobrang sakit na. Sobrang ngalay na rin ng back ko because of the pillow maneuver. So kept stretching lang from time to time. Ma rarate ko yung pain like 9/10. Tolerable lang sya for me although sobrang sakit nya talaga. Umabot lng nang 12am na hindi ako pinagdrink ni doc nang pain killer. Nung 12 am pwede na daw me mag stand, walk and mag cr to check my diaper if I see any POC. Grabe yung ramdam ko sobrang kinakabahan ako baka hindi mahing successful. So when I entered the cr, I immediately checked my diaper and saw nothing. Only Blood but no Poc. When I suddenly felt the urge to pee. So I peed in the bathroom floor and that’s when the POC came out. I’m pretty sure na talaga na yun na poc na yung lumabas. I texted doc John and he told me to take a picture of it beside a peso coin and my patient code. I was in shock at the same time relieved when doc John confirmed that I was officially not pregnant.



Now, It’s been almost two weeks since my successful MA. I bleed heavy for 1 week and had a spotting nalang for a week. Sorry if natagalan ako na tapusin itong sulat. Back to class na kasi kmi. I was so preoccupied with all the school works but I just want to say. First to our baby, I’m sorry for what we did but I know that you will only suffer if we pushed though with the pregnancy. Since me and your dad are still not emotionally and financially ready for you. I know kasalan rin namin that’s why we have learned na out lesson. To be extra careful na nextime. I thought pa nung una na I will not think about it na if natapos na, pero you will feel the guilt pala talaga. I cry my self to sleep sometimes. But I know I will heal. I will heal in time. Second, I want to thank project486 for helping me. Thank you sir Alex for responding to my emails right away. Also big thanks to Doc. John for being there with me since the first day. He did not left me on read, he always answers my question and gives me reassurance. You are indeed a hope to all the women out there like me. To project486 team, thank you so much! Lastly, I want to tell whoever’s reading this right know. I know your in doubt pa. But I assure you 100% that project486 will help you. They are risking their life to help women out there. If you are going through same experience as me don’t hesitate to reach out to them. They will help you with no judgement.


Patient PRJCT486-121723Ft


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