Last January, I was having discomfort with my body. I was feeling nauseous in the morning and I thought it was just nothing cause I’ve been feeling like that lately for the reason that I’m not eating on time. I was also stressed out that time because it’s finals week. I had to study until late in the evening and had less sleep. There was even a time that I vomited all I ate.

 

The thought of being pregnant never came into my mind, not until my period got delayed. Weeks of being delayed, I was just hoping that it will come because I’ve already experienced it. But not to the point that it will be delayed for almost a month. I was worried about that time, and thought that it might be that I’m having a baby inside my tummy. In February, I had the courage to do a pregnant test. I bought two of them, and did the test simultaneously. The results were all positive and I was not feeling scared right at the moment. I messaged the person who impregnated me and told him that I was expecting a baby, I even sent him the photo of the PT result. He didn’t believe me at first because he said that he made sure I won’t get pregnant during the time we had an intercourse but it came out the opposite. Moments after processing the information, he decided to support me with the baby but in one condition that no one would know that he’s the father because his father would get mad at him if he finds out that his son had someone impregnated.

 

Days passed and the situation slapped me with the realization of the possibilities and consequences that might come. I thought of it thoroughly and decided to have an abortion. I was not ready for it. I know for myself that I can’t provide its needs and wants. I was still in college and if I told my parents, they will definitely get mad and disappointed in me. With all of that in mind, I came up with the best solution that will be good for my situation. I decided to terminate my pregnancy, I know it’s a sin but I can’t let my child be born in this world where I can’t even provide and give him a life that he deserves. So, I researched online on how to induce a natural miscarriage. I’ve read an article which says that you can have a surgical abortion or medical pill abortion. As I’ve read, I find out that taking mifepristone and misoprostol can induce abortion with a huge percentage of success, and you can do it at home. After that I went through the online market and found a store where it sells misoprostol. I’ve also read an article online that you can have misoprostol alone but it needs to have fewer pills, so I ordered from that store. I haven’t told anyone with my decision and decided to keep it for myself. A week passed and the pills came. I went with the procedure. I was hoping that it will be successful and will have a fresh start after. But it was a fail. I cried so hard that time, I didn’t know what to do.

 

After everything that happened, l gathered all my courage and messaged my sister about my situation. She was totally shocked and couldn’t believe it. I explained everything to her, answered all her questions, and most importantly my decision to terminate it. She told me that she will help me. I was thankful because she supported me even though it’s a huge sin. I never expected that she would help me because I know my family’s not into this kind of thing and that’s the prime reason why I was hesitant to tell her. Luckily she had a friend that knows where to get authentic abortion pills. My sister passed me all the information and that’s where I found out about project486. I went through their website and did some research. I find it legible and so l emailed them through the contact they provided on their website. Hours passed and I received a response. It went smoothly, then I had my consultation with my assigned consultant. After all the process, I ordered the pills and it came in less than a week. I told my sister then she said that I should have my day 1 on Monday so she could assist me on day 3 which is Wednesday. Monday came (day 1 mifepristone) and I did the procedure. The next is day 2 mifepristone. I wasn’t feeling any serious during my 2 days of having the procedure. I could still do my daily routine without a problem. The only thing that happened was I had blood discharged on day 2. It was not painful at all, and I informed my consultant about it. Day 3 came, in the morning I bought the things in preparation for the misoprostol intake and in the afternoon I checked in at the nearest pension house. My sister was also travelling at that time to where I stayed. At 3pm my consultant gave me the final instructions for my 4pm procedure. Starting at 4pm, I have to do the pillow maneuver until midnight. I started the procedure by myself because my sister was still on a bus. About 2 hours passed, my sister finally came and luckily I was feeling minimal pain only. 8pm and I had my second intake of misoprostol and that’s when the crucial things started. I was feeling the most painful thing I’ve ever experienced in my entire life. I endured everything until midnight. My consultant was there online to monitor me. Also, I was thankful to my sister for being there beside me. Midnight came and I could sit and walk. I asked my sister to help me go to the cr. As I checked my diaper, I didn’t find any sign of POC. Then, I had the urge to pee. I did it on the bathroom floor and blood came out with a white solid thing. I rinsed it with water and found out it was the POC. I called out my sister and asked her to take a picture of it. Minutes later and the placenta also came out. I sent it to my consultant. After everything I went through, it was done and a success.

 

All thanks to project486, I can now have a new start. Atone for my sins, and learn from my mistakes. It was not easy for me, I know that I will face consequences and I’m prepared to face it. I will wholeheartedly accept whatever God gives me along the way. I just can’t let my child suffer because I can’t raise the way he deserves. I will gladly be punished with my mistakes instead of having a baby I can’t afford to raise and give a life. The world is changing, it’s not what it used to be. Inflation is a very serious matter and having an unplanned pregnancy is not a good thing. Having a child should be thought carefully, its future is on the line. And I was not ready and suitable for it. I can’t raise myself, how can I even give life to a child. I learned my lesson and I do hope this will also help someone to realize that having contraceptives and practicing safe sex is necessary to avoid unwanted pregnancies.