It has been 10 days since I succeeded the procedure, and all I could think of within those days are all the lessons that I never thought I needed. But before I continue to elucidate these lessons, I would want to let you all know my story first.

I am the kind of person that greatly depends on my family on what I do. I never imagined putting myself in a situation that requires a huge independency. But in just a snap, I was already on it. I just found myself looking at the interior of our house seeing and feeling the emptiness of it that I was confused if I could still call it “home”.

It all happened when my family decided to live in the life that they have always wanted. Trust me, it was one of the toughest time of my life. I just find myself crying and crying in the middle of the night that almost became a daily routine; I never felt this loneliness before. Then, I started to wonder what I could do to ease my emotions. I knew that time that going into a romantic relationship isn’t a solution as I was once came from a very toxic one. So, that is where I started to explore the ‘FuBu’ (Fuck Buddy) setup; no strings attached, just having fun. Or so I thought.

I was not being proud because I tried it, but it definitely helped me to feel happier and less lonely. Fast forward, 7 months have past and I only had one pregnancy scare that I think just mainly due to stress. But the rest of the 7 months were smoothly in control with unprotected sex. Not until when I knew something inside me is bugging me, that I think it needs my attention.

I would just wake up feeling nausea, I get tired so easily and lastly, I’m late. When I had my first pregnancy scare, I never felt anything but a little nausea. Took a test, 3 PTs showed negative. And then when I had these many symptoms, I knew right away that I should take a another test. I was insanely nervous but I could really feel that there is something going on inside me.

And now to my journey: I bought 2 PTs, and to be a half-ly surprised, both showed positive.

I remained calmed and told my partner a.k.a FuBu about it. I knew that I can count on him as he showed 100% support on my decision. I asked him if he know someone or somewhere and to my surprise, he found 2 websites that are seemingly legit. I contacted both and only this website replied on me after a day or two. I did not expect them to reply that fast but I felt a brief of relief that they immediately did.

At first, I doubted myself if I can manage the pain. Luckily, the consultant that was assigned to me was indeed very helpful and I couldn’t be more thankful. At the end, with all my sacrifices and the help of my consultant, the hardship has ended.

Now, I don’t know if I can be more detailed about the whole procedure but to whoever is reading this;  self discpline is a must. If you have it, then worry no more.

The lessons that I would want to share based on my experience are; (1) It is great to explore, but you should know when to stop. (2) Limit yourself. and (3) Always have a safe sex. The last lesson would be the biggest of them all as for the past 7 months, I never had a safe sex. The feeling of wanting a sexual intercourse may be inevitable but always make it safe as much as possible.

To the one who is reading this, I know how you feel and you are not alone. Do not hesitate to ask for help. I know that the people behind this project, and me, will never ever judge you by your decision. I hope nothing but the very best.

To the team behind this project and especially to sir John, thank you from the bottom of my heart.

-P